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Aug 26 / Amy

Tears from my eyes…

Today was the first day that B cried when I dropped him off at school. He was happy when I handed him over to his teacher, kissed him on the forehead and turned to go out the door. It was then that I noticed that he was almost out of diapers. I keep a box of his diapers in my trunk, so that I don’t ever let him run out at school.

I said goodbye and ran out to the car to grab a sleeve of diapers for his cubby. When I walked back into the room and started putting them in his cubby, he spotted me. And when I didn’t walk over to him immediately like I do in the afternoons, he started crying.

Gasp.

The tears instantly came to my eyes and I felt so guilty leaving him there while I went to work. This was the first time in the entire four months he’s been there that he’s gotten upset when I was leaving, and I know it won’t be the last, but it still hurt.

That was at 7:10 am.

I called at lunch to see how he was doing, and of course he was doing just fine. He’s eating, he’s playing, he’s laughing. He’s fine.

It’s now 3:00 pm and my eyes still sting from the tears that want to attempt an escape from their ducts, but I’m fighting them back. Tears won’t do me any good. And why should I cry? He’s in a good environment with lots of other kiddos to play with and learn from. Yes, it sucks leaving him every day. Yes, there are days when I wish I could stay at home with him. But I do love my job and I enjoy working. I’m not anywhere near ready to hang that up and stay at home – it’s just not me.

So for now, I’ll keep the guilt, and continue counting down the hours until I can go pick up my little man each day.

b_pushup

Two hours to go!

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One Comment

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  1. Heather / Aug 26 2013

    I can only imagine how difficult this must be! I would cry too. Hang in there chica!

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