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Dec 30 / Amy

Learning to Let Go and to Be Thankful

If you know me well, you know that I’m fiercely loyal, so much to the point where when someone I’ve always been there for has hurt me, I have a very hard time getting over it and moving on – even when I really need to.

I will obsess over it internally, think about what happened, what I could have done to prevent it from happening, and stress over it ad nauseam (just ask Josh, he’s my sounding board). I have internal dialogues, as if I’d ever confront them about how I feel or their wrong doings, but as I’m also (typically) non-confrontational, I know those conversations will never take place.

I try to ignore it, and act as if it doesn’t matter that I’m hurt, because I am not ready to let go of the friendship in my mind, even if it’s clearly already gone.

It sucks.

And as I get older, I find that it’s happened more than I like to admit.

I always heard that as you grow up, you learn who your real friends are. And that’s completely true. I’ve learned that ten-fold, and am so lucky to have those people that remain in my life.

So I want to take a moment to say “Thank You” to the people that have been there for me, that I lean on for advice, that have celebrated major milestones with me, and have been there in the highs and lows of life. I am so thankful that you’re a part of my world.

I’m thankful that I’m able to be there to listen when you’re having a rough day/week/month/year. I’m thankful that you confide in me the issues you’re dealing with at work. I’m thankful that you share with me your updates on the guy you’re seeing, because you two are totally cute together. I’m thankful for lunches to celebrate engagements and to discuss planning your wedding, or dinners to just hang out because we haven’t seen each other in awhile. I’m thankful to hear about what your kids are up to, and what it’s like now that the family dynamic has changed. I’m thankful that in your busy lives, you choose to include me as a part of it. And while we’re not always available at the same time, we make it work when we can, and we pick up right where we left off like it was yesterday, which is so very important (and refreshing).

I’m a grateful for all of that.

I’m learning that I need to be a person that focuses on what she’s got, not what she’s lost. I need to wish those individuals from friendships that have withered away the best, and keep on keeping on, because it’s likely they’ve already done that themselves.

So my theme (and goal) for 2015 is going to be to “Let Go.” (Not Let It Go, I saw Frozen for the first time last week, cute, but I don’t want the songs stuck in my head!)

Let go of the anger and hurt.

Let go of the past.

Let go of the sense of obligation.

Let go of those that have already let go.

Because I have a lot more to be thankful for in my every day life, I don’t need to cloud my vision with what isn’t there anymore.

Here’s to a wonderful, happy, and thankful 2015.

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